Crushed (In This Moment Book 2) Read online

  Butterflies set flight in my stomach when he returns my smile, looking almost as happy to see me. Crap, I have it so bad for this boy.

  “Hey, Eric! I’m so glad to see you!” As the embarrassment from my word vomit heats my face, I take my seat next to him. “I mean…I was so worried you wouldn’t be riding the bus this year.”

  He shrugs. “Well, I don’t turn sixteen until Christmas Break.” Chuckling, he shoots me a knowing smile. “So, I am afraid you’re stuck with me for now, Jules.” Leaning in close, he rests his arm on mine and my breath stills. “I missed you too, by the way.” By the time he pulls away, I’ve completely forgotten how to talk. My mouth opens and closes as I try to think of something to say—anything—but an uncomfortable silence is all that’s managed until he speaks again. “Did you have a good summer?”

  Nodding, I sigh as my lips twist. “Yeah…I guess. I didn’t really do much. How about you?”

  “My summer was pretty busy, but good. We took a trip to the beach before band practice started, and…” his words trail off and he pauses, an odd expression crossing his features before he continues. “I’ve…uh, started dating someone. Her name is Rachel. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple weeks now. She’s in band with me, so most of our time together has been at practice.” When he lets out a nervous chuckle, I try to force a smile, but I can’t feel my face.

  It’s like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me, which is absurd. Eric dating someone shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s cute, smart, and funny. Just because I was sitting at home pining away for him doesn’t mean he was doing the same for me.

  I’d even passed up an opportunity to date a guy recently because of Eric. My friend Jessica introduced me to her boyfriend’s best friend, Jason, at the end of the school year, and we hung out a couple times over the summer. He’s an all right guy, but when he asked me out, I said no because he didn’t make me feel the way Eric does. Maybe I should reconsider that option now.

  Struggling to pull myself together, I allow my hair to fall in my face, not wanting him to see the disappointment on it.

  “Wow…sounds like a great summer,” I grumble, my strained voice and choppy tone threatening to give my emotions away. An awkward silence follows as I continue my attempt to shake the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, making me desperate to change the subject. “So, what classes do you have this year?”

  We both pull out our schedules to review them and discover we have nearly every period together, including lunch.

  “You’re taking the photography class as your elective too?” I question, my mood lifting instantly. He never mentioned having an interest in photography when we’d talked about it before, but he knew for sure I was planning to take that course.

  “Yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck. “You made it seem so interesting when you talked about it last year, I decided to check it out. I didn’t make the cut for the yearbook staff, though.”

  Pressing my lips into a hard line, I try to suppress my smile. Girlfriend or not, it seemed he’d purposely chosen his classes in hopes to line them up with mine.

  “It might be kind of hard to take pictures of school functions when you’re busy with band,” I mock, my grin breaking free and spreading across my face as he smirks at me.

  “Good point. You’re still going to be stuck with me a lot this year. Think you’ll get tired of me?”

  “Not possible,” I answer, with way too much certainty and honesty.

  “Good, because I was thinking we could hang out outside of school some too. I mean…if you want to.”

  Words fail me for the second time this morning, my mouth hanging open as I dumbly blink at him. He has a girlfriend, I remind my stuttering heart, but it ignores me, deciding to focus on the positive instead. Despite the fact that we’d be spending almost the entire day together at school, he still wanted to hang out with me afterwards.

  Maybe he isn’t crazy about me like I am him, which sucks, but I still love being around him. He makes me laugh and gives me someone to talk to. His friendship makes high school seem bearable, and having him in my life as my friend is a lot better than not having him in my life at all.

  “Jules?” Eric hedges, reminding me I still haven’t answered him.

  “Yeah.” I nod. “I’d really like that.”

  December 26th

  My phone rings as I rush to get out of the car and into the restaurant. Pulling it from my purse, I see it’s Chris calling again and groan. He’s been calling me repeatedly over the past week, leaving voicemails and text messages, begging for me to take him back when I don’t answer.

  “What the hell do you want, Christopher?” Slamming my car door, my feet pound the pavement as I make my way through the parking lot.

  “God…Julia,” he exhales. “It’s so good to hear your voice, baby. I only want to talk to you, please. I miss you so much.”

  “Well, I don’t miss you, and I don’t have time to talk.”

  “How long are you going to punish me?”

  I bark out a laugh and roll my eyes at how quickly his sweet tone sharpened when he didn’t get the response he wanted.

  “Punish you? Seriously, Chris?” My face heats when my harsh tone grabs the attention of a couple passing by.

  “I love you. You know I do. I already had to spend Christmas without you, I don’t want to miss your birthday too. Please come home. I swear that will never happen again.”

  “Tell me something,” I grit out, “did you love me when you had your dick inside that other woman?” Christopher moans as if I’m being irrational and difficult—like he truly believes I should get over the fact that I found him balls deep inside another woman in our bed. “I’m not coming home. Not now. Not ever. It’s over. You did this, not me. Leave me alone.”

  My hands shake as I hang up the phone, and tears pool in my eyes. I wish I hadn’t answered his call. I was already stressed out, and now this. Stopping outside the restaurant door, I take a couple deep breaths to calm my nerves before heading in.

  Having lunch with Lori isn’t exactly on the top of my list of things I’d like to do today. It was hard enough dealing with family during the Christmas festivities these last couple days. There’s nothing like having your entire family grill you about your failed marriage. I got a lovely array of responses, from “let’s kill him” to questions about what I had done to cause his cheating.

  Lori was the hardest one to deal with, as suspected. I love my sister, but she can be overly opinionated when it comes to my affairs—she’s that way with anyone she cares about.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I huff, nearly breathless by the time I reach her inside.

  Offering an apologetic smile, I eye my almost unrecognizable sister. We’ve never looked all that much alike. Her skin tone has always been much more olive than mine and her eyes more of a crystal-clear blue, but her newly highlighted hair makes her appear more blonde than brunette, removing the only real similarity we had.

  Her mouth twists as she cuts her eyes to me, clearly unpleased she had to wait. The girl becomes a beast when she’s hungry. I swear those Snickers commercials are based off her.

  “I wasn’t sure you were going to show up. Did you get lost in this big town?” Her lips press into a hard line as she crosses her arms.

  Lori’s still hurt I didn’t come to her first after I left Christopher. My intentions were never to upset her, but she took it personally. She expects me to turn to her with all my problems, to let her handle or resolve them for me, but that isn’t the way I work. I’m the suffer in silence type.

  “No, I had to deal with a phone call from Christopher,” I gripe, sitting in the tiny metal chair at the small wooden table.

  My gaze darts around the room, looking anywhere but at her. The vintage, eclectic décor giving off a Midwest hipster vibe seems completely out of place for this small southern town. The new restaurant is packed, though. Every table is full and people are waiting.

  “Please tell
me you are not still talking to that fucker.” Her agitated tone causes the people at the table next to us to turn their heads.

  “No…” My face heats with embarrassment, my eyes narrowing as they land back on her. “I only answered to tell him to stop calling me. He’s been calling me nonstop since I left. He thinks he can win me back, and I’m starting to worry he’ll try to contest the divorce.”

  “I’ll be damned,” she declares. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle him.”

  My pulse quickens as she smirks to herself and flips open her menu. She’s been waiting for this opportunity since the moment she laid eyes on Christopher and claimed he was an entitled prick. The day I told her I was moving to Pennsylvania with him, I thought she was going to attack him, and know she at least considered it. She hated the idea of me being so far away with only Christopher to turn to, but getting as far away from Tennessee as possible was exactly what I wanted. It was what I needed…or so I thought.

  Now, after biding her time, I’m sure ripping into him would bring her great joy, but it would only make things harder on me. I want this to be over as quickly and painlessly as possible.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get involved. I can handle it on my own. It’s fine.”

  “Please tell me you aren’t considering going back to him.” She closes her menu, giving me her complete attention.

  I’ve considered going back to Christopher at least a hundred times since I left him, telling myself I could handle living a façade a lot easier than being back in Tennessee. If I’m being honest with myself, I loved the life being with him promised—or, rather, the escape it offered from the one I’d been living. But I’ve learned you can’t avoid the devil by selling your soul.

  “No,” I murmur, shaking my head. Tears begin to fill my eyes and I avert them, not wanting her to see my pain.

  “Okay, good. Have you had any luck on the job front yet?”

  The sudden change in subject and her light tone has my head snapping up and brows drawing in as I study Lori’s soft features. It isn’t like her not to push.

  Can she see how on edge I am already?

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” I tilt my head as I continue to study her with caution. “I sent my resume to a couple places this morning and I’m planning to go out first thing Monday morning.”

  “Everything is going to work out. You’ll see. I know it’s not going to be easy, but we’re all here for you. Your life will be even better than before.”

  I bite the inside of my lip, attempting to ward off my emotions as they threaten to spill out. A lump grows in my throat as I nod, my gaze moving to my menu as I open it. “Thank you,” I choke out.

  SMALL TOWNS

  “Are you done yet? I finished mine ten minutes ago,” Eric teases.

  Math used to be my worst subject. I absolutely hated it. Freshman year, I was in the remedial Algebra class. Now, I’m carrying a hundred percent grade average, and my teacher has asked me to participate in a math competition for the school.

  Turns out, I’ve been smart enough all along. And thanks to Eric, I finally realize that. I know it’s crazy to give someone else credit for my success, but he has this way of bringing out the best in me.

  “Shut it. I’m almost done. The only reason you beat me is because you don’t know what you’re doing. There’s no way you’ll get a better score on this than me,” I mock, bumping his shoulder with mine.

  Another thing that makes this particular class my favorite of the day is the seating arrangement. Since it’s normally used as a science room, it has tables instead of desks, meaning I get to sit as close to him as I want. Close enough to inhale his scent. Close enough that a part of me is always touching a part of him.

  “There, I’m done,” I declare, putting my pencil down.

  When I look over at Eric, he’s staring at me in that way that makes my stomach flip. My crush on him is getting worse by the day. I try to remind myself we’re just friends, that he doesn’t see me in that way. He has a girlfriend for goodness sake. Still, when he looks at me as if I matter—like I’m the only thing that matters to him—it’s very hard to remember that.

  “Earth to Eric,” I prompt, waving my hand in front of his face when his gaze becomes overwhelming.

  His stare never wavers as he asks, “You have plans tonight?”

  My breathing stills though my heart is racing. He’s not into you, Julianna.

  “No, why?” I will my heart to slow, but it’s no use.

  “Well, I was wondering if you’d like to come over to watch a movie at my house? As you know, I’m on house arrest, but my mom said I could invite you over.”

  I’m very aware he’s grounded. It’s kept us apart after school all week. I’ve wondered if that hadn’t been part of his girlfriend’s plan when she kept him out past his curfew last weekend.

  “You want me to come over to watch a movie at your house?” My lashes flutter and eyes narrow as I chew on my bottom lip.

  I’ve never been over to his house, and we’ve never made plans on a Friday night before either. This is way outside my Eric comfort zone. Going over to his house on a Friday night to watch a movie feels a little more like a date than two friends hanging out.

  Wait. Is this a date? No, it can’t be. What about Rachel?

  “Yeah.” He smirks. “I mean, I thought it would be nice to change things up a little.”

  “What, did Rachel already have plans?” My question comes out catty instead of the joke I’d intended, and my face heats, wishing I could shove the words back in my mouth.

  “No, she doesn’t already have plans. I’d just rather spend my time with you.”

  “Shit, shit, shit,” I curse under my breath, increasing my speed as I make my way through the small restaurant and into the ladies’ room.

  I’d almost forgotten what it’s like living in a small town and the fact that there’s no way to avoid people you don’t want to see.

  Of course Eric is here. Of course I look like total shit. Of course he caught me staring at him.

  Damn if he didn’t look so freaking good too. And don’t get me started on the woman he’s with. She’s incredibly beautiful, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s Cara. I’ve never met or even seen his wife before. Whoever she is, he certainly cares a great deal for her. The adoring expression on his face as he looked at her made my heart ache.

  There was a time when he looked at me that way. It always made me feel so safe and special. Now, I’m practically running away from him because I can’t handle seeing the contempt he has for me.

  Eric didn’t want me to marry Christopher—he hadn’t been the only one, but I was too far gone to hear what anyone had to say. I wanted an out, an escape, and Chris provided that for me.

  I only wish I’d known Eric was really asking me to choose between the two of them, that I was going to lose him when I married Chris. Although I’m not sure the threat of losing him would’ve stopped me from leaving Tennessee, at least I wouldn’t have been blindsided by it. Despite my efforts to fight my feelings, I fell in love with Eric in high school, and after he cut me out of his life, I wanted to hate him, but my heart has always had other ideas.

  “Hey, Jules,” Eric calls as I exit the bathroom.

  I squeal, my heart jumping into my throat, and trip over my own feet, crashing right into him. Son of a bitch.

  His arms wrap around me, keeping me from falling, and I almost wish he’d let me hit the ground. The sensation of being held by him will last a lot longer than the pain of stumbling to the floor would have. Once I’m steady again, my eyes lock with his.

  “Eric?” I breathe, heat spreading through my body. “You scared the shit out of me!”

  He laughs as I smack his arm with a shaky hand.

  “I can see that.” The humor in his tone causes me to narrow my eyes.

  Standing upright, I pull back from him, but not completely out of his hold, his hands settling on my waist. I should move
. I should wrench myself from his grasp and run screaming from the restaurant, but his touch has always made me feel safe.

  “What are you doing?” I demand as my eyelashes flutter.

  His features draw in, as if he finds my question concerning, and he sighs.

  “I wanted to speak with you.”

  “Why? You made it pretty clear you didn’t want to see or speak to me the other night.”

  Averting my eyes, I focus on the old band t-shirt he’s wearing. It’s from a concert we both attended, only separately. He’d been there with one of his many girlfriends, yet every time I looked in his direction, his stare had been on me. Typical Eric, confusing the shit out of me.

  Moving my gaze to his feet, I drop my head, allowing my hair to hide my face. One hand leaves my waist before tucking my hair behind my ear. His touch causes me to suck in a quick breath, his fingers brushing down my cheek before settling under my chin, gently nudging my head back up. When my eyes meet his, I recognize the mixture of emotion stirring inside him. It’s the same combination of uncertainty, sadness, and nostalgia stirring inside me.

  Finally removing his hands, he takes several steps back, and I feel like I can breathe again.

  Clearing his throat, he scratches at his beard. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about actually. I’m sorry about the other night. I didn’t know…” his words trail off and he shakes his head.

  “That my husband’s a cheating bastard?” I snap, hating the pity I heard in his voice.

  He works his jaw back and forth, pulling at the hairs on his chin. “If I had, I never would’ve—”

  “It’s fine, Eric,” I interrupt, crossing my arms. “I realize you didn’t know. How could you? It’s not like we’re friends anymore.”

  Pressing my lips into a hard line, I focus my scornful glare on him, hoping he’ll say something to defend or explain himself—anything that will give me some understanding and closure. When I don’t get a response to my jab, I continue. “You should get back to your date.”